The Prince and The Heir
by stardomSloth
Summary: What if Eridan was John's patron troll instead of Vriska? Would it have BIG effects or small ones. This story will be primarily from the perspective of Eridan though I might want to mess with more pov's later. and Disclaimer [homestuck is not in my possession, it is the property of Andrew Hussie]
1. first meetings

It all started on that day, before the dorky blue human with the glasses started ignoring them, it was there that the Prince of Hope decided to strike, with a smirk on his face he started typing on his keyboard.

\- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling ghostlyTrickster [GT] -

CA: hello wworthless landwweller i havve decided that out of all the humans you are the only one wworth botherin  
GT: who is this? how did you get my handle?  
CA: wwell you see i am just that good and you seem interestin more so than the other three humans that i havve had the opportunity to troll  
GT: is that what you are doing? trolling me? why?  
CA: wwell that is wwhat i feelt like doin and as i am royalty that should be enough  
GT: wait you are royalty? so what, are you going to tell me that i am your "last surviving relative" and that i need to send you money and i get one million dollars?  
CA: wwhat do you mean relativve is that some sort of human thing an wwhy wwould i give you these dollars for currency  
GT: oh i get you, you are roleplaying as some kind of alien. sure i'll play along oh mister alien royalty guy (or girl) tell me what i should do for you?  
CA: i kneww talkin to you at this state wwas a mistake you are too immature not that you get any better in the future alwways ignorin me  
GT: the future? dude you are taking this roleplaying thing to extreme, i mean sometimes jade gets me to roleplay with with her but... that usually makes sense.  
CA: ugh just if i contact you in the future dont block me  
GT: i wwon't  
GT: *won't  
GT: you type to weird you know?  
CA: you are bein wway too annoyin i think i wwill talk to you later on your timeline

\- caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased pestering ghostlyTrickster [GT] -

GT: ok...

A young troll sits in front of his computer. it would appear that today is the day this young troll started trolling a person who would mean a lot to him in the future. now you may ask what is this troll's name and the answer would be Eridan Ampora. Eridan smacks his keyboard "wwhy is this fuckin human so infuriatin" he screamed into the air. of course he didn't miss the snickers of his 'friends' at his misfortune, oh yes let's laugh at the seadweller oh it's so funny, look how he fails at everything

Eridan takes a deep breath, "lets just try this again later" he mutters to himself. before finding another point to talk to this infuriating blue human.

\- caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -  
CA: hello once again wworthless landwweller i havve come to honor you wwith my presence again  
EB: hi eridan!  
CA: wwhat howw did you knoww that  
EB: well you told me, wait... is this our fabled second conversation? oh my god, this is going to be fun!  
EB: come on, tell me how much of a 'wworthless wwaist of space' i am, i want to be trolled man, give me my fix.  
CA: wwhat the fuck is even goin on  
EB: oh come on! there was something about this conversation, and I wan't to know wwhat  
EB: *what  
CA: wwhat is with everything ugh you are infuriating.  
EB: oh i get it you have those... what did Mr. Grouch call it again. Black feelings right?  
CA: no no no no i dont like you like that like wwhat wwould even givve you the idea that feeling black towwards someone you havent evven had a real convversation wwith is stupid  
CA: though if it wwas Kar wwho introduced you to Kismesistude then i understand perfectly the mistake he is hardly an expert on this stuff like yours truly.  
EB: ok... i think i should be sad? i don't know how this troll romance works  
CA: wwell then blue human it is time to for my awwsome lecture  
EB: it's not blue human my name is John actually  
EB: are you in no way curious how i know your name?  
EB: dude are you there?  
EB: Eridan?  
CA: wwell you see blue human troll romance wworks in four wways wwe have kismesis moirails auspices and matesprits now... {one long explanation later (in which john asked some questions I guess)} and that is wwhy vvris was so disgusted by your bucket  
EB: ...  
EB: i am not sure if that was information that i think i was ready for, but this sounds interesting. i wonder if humans can do it. well i know we can do matespirits as that seems to be closer to our human love.  
CA: yes it does sound like a fascinatin question but noww tell me howw did you come to learning my name?  
EB: you told me  
EB: oh shit, I have to go, talk to you later  
CA: Jhn wait  
\- ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] -  
CA: god damn it

Eridan smacked his face on the table, this human was going to be the death of him.

* * *

Author: say some words  
Hello! this is the end of the first chapter of my first fanfiction ever! I can say that I am excited to hear from you. tell me what you think, is it good or bad? (I personally hope from good) and do you think I managed to keep them in character, that was my one fear when writing this. any way stardomSloth out!


	2. what?

\- caligulasAquarium [CA] has begun trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

CA: jhn is this a point in time wwhere you actually answwer me?  
ectoBiologist has blocked caligulasAquarium at ?:?  
CA: god damn it  
CA: jhn answwer me god damn it!  
ectoBiologist has blocked caligulasAquarium at ?:?  
CA: jhn are you fuckin kidding me  
EB: why won't you just leave me alone, you are just as annoying as that guy with the gray text  
CA: you mean kar  
CA: yes he is really annoyin but you should be honored to get my attention  
EB: is it because you are "royalty" as you stated previously? i'm not buying it, why don't you trolls just leave us alone!  
CA: hey its not our fault that you dont belivve us, but please just listen. you are about to play the game are you not?  
EB: how did you know? and whats it to you?  
CA: wwell you see i played this game before and think i could help you become better than the rest of the humans  
EB: why would i want that?  
CA: wwell jhn you see if you get better than them you wwill get the spot of leader  
CA: ok that is a bit of a lie as it wwas kar who became our leader  
CA: but my point is i can make you great  
EB: ok, sure i'll bite. but only so i can help my friends out later  
CA: that is the best i can ask for but you must knoww that you cant only be selfless  
EB: wwell, where do we start?  
EB: *well  
CA: im going to be silent on your end for a wwhile you can expect me to contact you again later  
EB: wait!  
\- caligulasAquarium [CA] has ceased trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

Eridan for the first time since trying to talk to this human smiled, things were finally looking up for him. He found that talking to the blue human or John, was fun. he found John adorable and how he seemed to be influenced by Eridans quirk didn't help that. but he didn't pity him. not at all. he barely knew the guy.

Eridan was about to contact John again when he heard a voice. "so eeeeeeeeridan, it looks like you have taken an interest in the John human" that would be vriska, "wwhat do you wwant vvris?" "well, you see I have my sight one a certain human and I just wanted to tell you to" she pauses for dramatic effect "fuck off and let me take care of the john human, ok ::::)" you can most definitely hear the smile face. and it isn't friendly "vvris, how about you talk to jhn, and I do as well. ok?" vriska didn't seem happy with it, but Eridan had decided that he would not give up this interesting human. "fiiiiiiiine, 8ut if I hear that you tried to get rid of me, I'll snatch him right out of your hands"  
Eridan gives a grunt of understanding and Vriska goes away, not wanting to be to much around Eridan for too long of a time.

it's off to talk to John, eridan decided

\- caligulasAquarium [CA] has begun trolling ectoBiologist [EB] -

CA: Jhn i see you havve gotten into the game  
EB: you mean this place where my house has been transported to?  
EB: that was normal?  
CA: wwell my land wwasnt as bleak looking at this one wwell it wwas bleak but not that bleak  
CA: wwhat i wwas trying to say is that this was supposed to happen  
EB: oh  
EB: do these lands have names?  
CA: wwell i don't knoww wwhat yours is called but i wwas positioned in 'the land of wwrath and angels"  
EB: that sounds... like it was not a happy fun place  
CA: yes but enough about that wwhat im going to tell you might be odd but you havve to talk to the purple text and make her build more shit on your house  
EB: purple text?  
EB: oh you mean rose? yes i would do that if she wasn't missing in action  
CA: wwell wwhile wwe wwait, wwhy wwont you ask me some questions  
EB: so many 'w' it's hard to read, wwhy do you type like that anyway?  
EB: *why  
CA: its my quirk all trolls have one  
EB: why?  
CA: wwell it is somethin wwe trolls do wwithout it wwe are nothing  
EB: you know, i'm starting to believe this whole "you are aliens thing"  
CA: wwell duh  
EB: now i have to go there are some black things coming  
EB: wait... not like that. like pitch black in colour  
CA: wwhat  
CA: is this some joke i dont get

\- ectoBiologist [EB] has ceased pestering caligulasAquarium [CA] -

Eridan is now sitting on front of the computer watching the human beat up some imps, utterly confused

* * *

 **author: make notes**

Hi, now just a few quick words, this is not an EriJohn matesprit fick, they will be moirails. That is all.


End file.
